DM fun!

[Zarg]

Post funny stuff you have done to your players as dms.

Well, iv played two three hour sessions now, and iv DM'ed them both. The players only had 3 ppl, but they wanted four in their party, so they called my brothers friend to come play. Let me tell you... this kid is a little slow.... to put it kindly. Anyway, his first action, (Upon entering a tavern during a feast.) was to look for any "hot half-orc drunk chicks." Whatever. I told him, "fine, you glance around the bar, seeing no such creature. However, just as you turn around to ask your friends if they spyed such a nymph, you see a large brutish female half-orc bull rushing you. She pins you down to the tavern floor, and procedes to do terrible things to you." Then i made him lose 1 point of con for the "anguish."

In addition, he wouldnt stop this kinda crap, and he was now trying to have "suprise sex" with another pc. Well, what better way to cool his heals than.... make him impitent! So i did, and every time he wants to get it on, he needs to make a con check with a dc of 43, and if he fails, his "meat pipe" falls off. So that settled that.

[K Man]

First off...there's something perpetually wrong with the idea of a "meat-pipe", but it's humerous enough to use in everyday conversation...

Although I've never dealt with a player horny enough to act out sexual desires while gaming with a group of people the same age and gender...I have dealt with players that won't give certain ideas up.

There's a player in my dice and paper game that is contstantly searching for treasure. I mean, when we first starting playing with him, he would go as far as cutting the bottom of chairs out searching for things hidden in the fabric. When I would say things like, "There's nothing else of interest in the room..." he would instantly think I was bluffing and search everything, forcing a slow game and me to come up with things on the fly.

So we came up with a "Search Level" for this guy. Basically he could search something several times, but each time would more or less deduct from his "Search level" I.E. - He would have to ask to search something 5 times until he finally found the secret for it....

Broke him of his habit quick once he saw how repetitive it got. It was more of an out-of game thing, but funny none the less.

[Zarg]

well, i never really like this kid anway.... so makeing him impitent and lose 1 con kinda felt good

also i killed him later, which was fun. i didnt fix anything, but he rolled SO badly. i think the devil is in my d20, cuz whenever im rolling for people, they get like 1.... or 2 if they are lucky... and then monsters get like 18 and 19.


there was this one PAIR (only TWO) of goblins that almost whiped out this strong lvl 1 group. they group couldnt hit these goblins (even tho the goblins had like 4 or 5 hp, and an ac of like 13 or 14.) and the goblins kept smokeing them... i just let the annoying kid die... so thats the end of my problem. (group cant afford the resurect.)

[Cel]

i had this annoying player that kept telling jokes ooc and doing bullshit in game.

so in the middle of the night (in game) he decided to knock on some door in town and ask for a rope, after the man who lived there warned him twice, he grabbed a great axe with his 22 str (player was lvl 1) and he kicked player's ass

[Zarg]

just had a great game, (lasted from like 3:00 pm to 12:00am) where i was a player. we were on this ship, in the middle of the ocean. we had to track down who murdered the captain, so we were looking in the kitchen. (we thought he was poisioned.) the cook saw us, and came over and stoped us. it went a little something like this

cook: what the hell are you doing here?

cleric (me): uhhhhh..... *CRACK* (punches him for some non-leathal dmg)

barbarian: RWWWWAAAARERRRRGGG *smash!* (does 12 dmg to the poor cook, cleaveing him in two.)


needles to say, the meals after this were rather bland...



later, we had a lead indicating this woman on board, and we found out she was ploting against the new cpt. we went and told him, but he didnt belive us... our barbarian, being the smart guy he is, decided to bring back her head as proof that she was evil... no, i dont know how that proves anything eather, so now we have no leads what so ever.