Book Possibly?

[That Monk Wongsomething]

I was curious, I have been working on a story, set in a fantsy world. Currently it is 30-some pages, but I was hoping that it would be cool to get some feed back on it? Let me know if its ok to put such a large post on the forum, and if it is, then Thank You in advance.

Drop me a line at : [e-mail]

P.s. I registered, and need to retrieve my pass, so my name will become WongFei for future reference

[Toptomcat]

I don't know about such policies, but I just sent you a line with subject "fantasy novel." Send your work to me as an attatchment and I'll get you some comments.

[That Monk WongSomething]

Thanks alot, most of it is done in paper pencil format, but here is just a sample to get the idea across ok?

The sun hung high in the air and the wind cooled the warmer air as it whipped around the young man. His amber hair fell down to his shoulders and it swayed lazily in the breeze. His green eyes glistened in the noonday sun. He had come to this hill often recently to think. He hoped that some day he would be away from the trouble that had followed him for the majority of the time that he had been on the road, after leaving his dear elven mistress. He was wrapped in a stiff cloak, and his body was protected by stiff leather. He had, hanging from his right side a long slender sword sheath. Inside of that sheath rested the sentient sword, that he had dubbed Lumino.
War drums began to sound in the distance. The man looked up to the north. The flag of the orc king Dangsk appeared as a message to the hardy warrior. He ran down the hill toward the marching menace warning the villagers all the way. He stopped at the outskirts of the town and waited for the beast to show his self. When the king crested the hill, he ordered his troops to a halt. He climbed out of the chariot that he was riding inside of.
“Welcome to the village of Goondak, beast.”
The king smiled widely and approached the seemingly frail human. “Welcome to your death, fool.”
“I am hardly one to be called a fool. You are the foolish one… coming here orc.”
“Why not put you merit to test? Back your words with steel, and I might start to ‘foolish’”
The king motioned a hand to a nearby orc, holding a long wooden spear and the greenish beast stepped forward. “You throw your troops at me as fodder then? Fine, I shall kill each of you one by one.”
The spear came in, too high. The human spun away and drew his weapon; a fine looking elven-made longsword. The wooden shaft stabbed in toward his chest then, but was easily parried by the sword.
Enraged, the orc swung the spear low to the ground, attempting to trip the man. He leapt into the air and swung down at the spear, cutting the spear’s tip off. The orc looked surprisingly at the now frayed end of his weapon. He thrust the jagged point at the human, and barely managing to get away he caught a barb on his right cheek.
The orc smiled then, believing that he found a weakness. That was the last thing he saw, as the shining blade of the human severed the beast’s head clean from his shoulders, showering the man in the foul creature’s blood.
Dangsk waived again and a second orc came from the crowd, this one holding a small one handed axe. The human smiled weakly then and spoke softly to the chief, “Why must you sacrifice your ‘men’, you are showing a true form of cowardice. Come and fight me yourself, beast!”
;D

[K Man]

Sure thing man, post away!! I love reading others works and I love making/hearing comments as well.

PS - As a side note, your screenname...Wong Fei...as in Wong Fei Hung? Greatest folk hero...ever.

[That monk WongSomething]

Actually I haven't heard of him....

It was a joke made by my brother, who said that all monks should be oreintal, and that mine should sound like it. WongFei sounded Asian, so I used it.

Thank you again!

Ill post more after i retriev my pass so i can use my WongFei UN!

[Japic]

Oh, that's too cooincidental. Although I have to agree with KMan, Wong Fei Hung is probably one of the coolest chinese Folk legends. He's like an oriental William Wallace. He's not the top guy though. Bohdi Dharma (sp?) is actually credited for introducing martial arts to the orient. He'd have to be the #1 oriental folk hero for me.

[WongFei]

I have finally gotten my pass, and the book is on the new thread "Conquest of the Mighty" Under WongFei

Thank you
Sorry for a "waste" of a thread....

the monk