Post by Japic on Dec 23, 2005 11:06:46 GMT -5
Hello, since this is the section for writing and such, I thought I'd share my dysfunctional x-mas tunes.
These were written a year or two ago by myself inspired by my renaissance hobbies and work boredom.
If you know the tunes to these holiday classics, it'll be easier to follow along.
-----Fearsome Jolly Roger----- to the tune of 'Holly Jolly Christmas'
See the fearsome, Jolly Roger;
It's the best flag far or near
I don't know if her hold will blow,
but have a mug of beer.
See the fearsome, Jolly Roger;
And as you're bore down by the fleet
Say goodbye to friends you know
and everything you see.
Hoist, up, the Skull 'n bones
up where they can see;
Davey Jones waits for you;
Buy him a drink from me.
See the fearsome, Jolly Roger,
and in case your pants are rank,
Just say goodbye, close your eyes,
and walk right off the plank.
-----Have yourself a Dagger in your Kidney----- to the tune of 'Have yourself a Merry little Christmas'
Have yourself a dagger in your kidney,
Let your heart bleed out
From now on,
your troubles will just fade away
Have yourself a dagger in your kidney,
Starve some poor vampire,
Set on wood,
Your body will burn in the pyre.
Slit your throat as in olden days,
happy bloodbath days of yore.
Faithful hounds who love human bones
gather near to feast once more.
Through the years your name will be forgotten
As the death toll climbs
Rest a burial shrowd upon your cold dead brow.
And have yourself a dagger in your kidney now.
Aww what the hell, since we're on topic of spoofed songs I'll add in another I wrote about six months before the others. Bing summer time its not a x-mas carol, but you may be familiar with it anyhow. I must say I feel particularly proud of this one. I took the original song and carried the concept from the little boy to pirates; so even the overall feel of the piece should be the same. Enjoy.
---- Fragrant Flagon ---- to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon
Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
Rough and sturdy sailors they drink that soured brew
And buy gold rings and play blackjack and get a new tattoo, oh
-Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
-And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
Together they would pillage and kill and maim and brag
Many scouts on the lookout perched nether pirate flag
Little sloops and galleys would fall to well trained crews
They give their loot and sometimes boots 'fore taking the long snooze, oh
-Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
-And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
A flagon can be mended, but not so all ship's hulls
Men o'War and soldiers corps came hunting pirate skulls.
One dark night it happened, they came not back to port
And with that fragrant flagon, they could no longer court.
Their heads were bent in sorrow, feet all locked in chains
Turns out it's not lawful to raid the shipping lanes.
Standing in their irons, they felt no guilty pang
Just glad to drink that flagon, before they were to hang, oh
-Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
-And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
These were written a year or two ago by myself inspired by my renaissance hobbies and work boredom.
If you know the tunes to these holiday classics, it'll be easier to follow along.
-----Fearsome Jolly Roger----- to the tune of 'Holly Jolly Christmas'
See the fearsome, Jolly Roger;
It's the best flag far or near
I don't know if her hold will blow,
but have a mug of beer.
See the fearsome, Jolly Roger;
And as you're bore down by the fleet
Say goodbye to friends you know
and everything you see.
Hoist, up, the Skull 'n bones
up where they can see;
Davey Jones waits for you;
Buy him a drink from me.
See the fearsome, Jolly Roger,
and in case your pants are rank,
Just say goodbye, close your eyes,
and walk right off the plank.
-----Have yourself a Dagger in your Kidney----- to the tune of 'Have yourself a Merry little Christmas'
Have yourself a dagger in your kidney,
Let your heart bleed out
From now on,
your troubles will just fade away
Have yourself a dagger in your kidney,
Starve some poor vampire,
Set on wood,
Your body will burn in the pyre.
Slit your throat as in olden days,
happy bloodbath days of yore.
Faithful hounds who love human bones
gather near to feast once more.
Through the years your name will be forgotten
As the death toll climbs
Rest a burial shrowd upon your cold dead brow.
And have yourself a dagger in your kidney now.
Aww what the hell, since we're on topic of spoofed songs I'll add in another I wrote about six months before the others. Bing summer time its not a x-mas carol, but you may be familiar with it anyhow. I must say I feel particularly proud of this one. I took the original song and carried the concept from the little boy to pirates; so even the overall feel of the piece should be the same. Enjoy.
---- Fragrant Flagon ---- to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon
Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
Rough and sturdy sailors they drink that soured brew
And buy gold rings and play blackjack and get a new tattoo, oh
-Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
-And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
Together they would pillage and kill and maim and brag
Many scouts on the lookout perched nether pirate flag
Little sloops and galleys would fall to well trained crews
They give their loot and sometimes boots 'fore taking the long snooze, oh
-Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
-And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
A flagon can be mended, but not so all ship's hulls
Men o'War and soldiers corps came hunting pirate skulls.
One dark night it happened, they came not back to port
And with that fragrant flagon, they could no longer court.
Their heads were bent in sorrow, feet all locked in chains
Turns out it's not lawful to raid the shipping lanes.
Standing in their irons, they felt no guilty pang
Just glad to drink that flagon, before they were to hang, oh
-Drink, the fragrant flagons, men who live by the sea
-And sail among the frothy mist in a ship pushed by the breeze.
