Locke and Keye

[TheUdjat]

Part of a story I wrote. Sorry it's a link, but it was tough enough to post it the first time (having to edit the structure and everything from Word).

Anyway, I figured it's time I shared with the rest of you.

www.livejournal.com/community/norestatthegate/3156.html#cutid1

[K Man]

Udjat,

You

Seriously man. Great work. Will this be a continuation or a recurring character? This detective guy kicks ass.

I'm impressed...like I ever wasn't by your writing abilities, but it's good to see it outside of a role-playing environment.

[TheUdjat]

A continuation. This is a novel concept I've been batting around in my head for a long time. I think I've finally got it settled that way I want it.

But, well, I always have trouble keeping things going. So hopefully there'll be another installment.

Thank you for your compliments.

[Toptomcat]

That is really neat. Good job...

[Zarni]

that's good stuff udjay. i liked the allusions to the vampires and their relationship, and i want to know more about them; spike and drucilla, maybe? was it influenced by buffy? one thing that puzzles me, though, is the detective. are we supposed to know why/how he/she knows/can work out all this? are they psychic? some of the assumptions made are a little too complex to be simply read from the surroundings.

good style, though. good development. good use of revelation at the end.

good.

have you read some of my more recent stuff?

[TheUdjat]

Zarni said:

was it influenced by buffy?

Probably, to some extent. I wasn't a terribly avid watcher, but I saw some of it. Didn't specifically draw on it for anything, though.

one thing that puzzles me, though, is the detective. are we supposed to know why/how he/she knows/can work out all this? are they psychic? some of the assumptions made are a little too complex to be simply read from the surroundings.

Specific examples? That's one of the things I'm most worried about - the detective work making sense. Most of it, at least, is supposed to make sense. If there are holes, I'd like to go back and work on them (well, I probably will. Some maybe I won't elaborate on until later).

good style, though. good development. good use of revelation at the end.

Thank you.

have you read some of my more recent stuff?

No. I suck and haven't really had a chance to read... most of the stuff on this section of the boards, honestly. I keep meaning to, though.

[sonnetinkinston]

I just have one name to ask: Laurell K. Hamilton, Udjat?