Post by Japic on Apr 21, 2006 9:50:30 GMT -5
Happy Birthday
Todd eyes lit up as the perfectly cooked slab of aged beef was laid before him. Somewhat distracting were the sides he’d ordered cluttering up the otherwise beautiful cut of meat before him. His attention was riveted to the steak as he picked up the fork and knife, and used them to cut the first taste from it. Like butter, he thought as the knife slid smoothly through the meat with little resistance. The first bite was in his mouth just as fast as he could mange and he chewed blissfully through the tender morsel. Seeing no reason to stop there he cut off another strip and another and another until he realized that he was halfway through the steak.
The world around him came back into focus as his latest girlfriend asked him a question from across the table. Sorting through his recent memory, he could not recall what she asked, but she was waiting for an answer.
“Uh, it’s good; how about yours?” He asked hoping that the answer matched whatever she sought.
“Well, the green beans are a little tough, and the salmon is dry; but the potatoes are good.” She replied, oblivious to his lapse in concentration. He wondered if he’d missed anything else, this one had a tendency to talk and he’d been developing a tendency to nod or give noncommittal noises without realizing it. A dangerous combination, he thought taking another bite.
Shortly thereafter the meal was finished and while nursing an after dinner cocktail their server came up with a perfectly toasted dish of crème brulee with a lit candle sticking out the top. Shooting a glance at the girlfriend her mischievous smile told him all he needed to know. “Happy Birthday sir; this one’s on the house,” the server said as she laid the dessert on the table before him. “Happy Birthday,” followed his girlfriend.
Scowling at the dessert before him Todd picked up a spoon and broke through the caramelized crust. Happy birthday indeed…They have no idea what tonight will bring, he thought bitterly. The custard was good, there was no doubt of that; but his girlfriend once more broke the silence with more words.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m still on my diet and shouldn’t have any of the dessert.” She said with a venomous edge to her words. He knew full well he hadn’t offered her any, nor would he; as he saw it her opinion didn’t really matter anyhow. After tonight you won’t care about me at all you dumb bitch, he thought swallowing another mouthful of the custard.
The silence between them dragged on for a few more minutes, the noise of other early diners and the steady clink of his spoon on the ceramic dish the only sounds at their cozy table. Having reached some sort of internal conclusion the woman started talking again, much to Todd’s dismay.
“I don’t know how you can eat all that crap all the time. We’ve dated for seven months now and your eating habits have gotten worse and worse; you never used to eat all that crap,” she complained.
Resigning himself to speak at last he finished the last spoonful of ‘crap’ and took a drink of ice water to cleanse his pallet. Clearing his throat he began, “Have you ever considered why I eat what I do? It’s because of all your nagging; you ever considered that?” Seeing her aghast with his brutal forwardness he plowed on. “Frankly you’re on my last damn nerve, and as of tonight we’re through,” he said as he started the litany of problems he’d called together in the last few days. By the time he was done she fled crying from the table and out of the restaurant. He sighed as people around him gave hurtful looks but then firmed his resolve and called the waitress for his check. It was unfortunate, but he always bought ‘birthday’ dinner for himself at this restaurant. Happy Birthday! he mocked to himself and signed the same to his credit card receipt. It didn’t matter; no one really looked at them anyhow.
Checking his watch he claimed his suit jacket from the coat girl he strode out into the downtown streets, squinting in the afternoon light. He walked for a while before coming to a familiar stop; the local Walgreens. Grabbing a basket he began to wonder the isles seeking the things he would need; a razor, some shaving cream, a new pair of scissors, nail clippers. He even found a set of sweat clothes incase he needed them. It might be silly to purchase these things once a year, but it seemed sillier to him to clutter up his bathroom with unnecessary supplies for a whole year.
Paying the cashier he made his way out of the store and retrieved his car from the restaurant’s valet. On the drive home he reflected on the mael and felt a moment’s guilt for pushing away yet another generally pleasant girlfriend. It’s better this way; they just don’t understand. he told himself for the hundredth time.
Pulling into his driveway Todd climbed the stairs to his condo and began unpacking his recently purchased supplies. He glanced at the clock on the wall and noted the time; 6:34 pm, he had some time yet. The pain was coming on slowly, building in his skull.
Stripping completely down he stood for a while in front of the full length mirror looking at his body. Taking full inventory of his physical attributes he made notes and guesses about what his future would hold. For some people every year brought changes; for Todd there was no truer statement to define his life.
At 6:48 pm the pressure in his head tightened farther and he backed away from the mirror and lowered himself onto the bed. Soon his whole body was awash with pain, pressure on every side; it felt as though he was being crushed. Lying on the bed the pressure became more intense as sweat began to run from every pore of his body.
Then the alarm on his watch went off, :beep::beep::beep: :beep::beep::beep: :beep::beep::beep: it was 6:53 pm. The pain began in earnest now as he writhed and waggled on the king sized bed. How long it lasted Todd did not know, but by the time it was done he fell asleep exhausted from the blinding pain.
He woke sometime in the night his body stinging from the recent changes it had undergone. He carefully brushed the long hair from his eyes taking care not to gouge himself with his newly grown fingernails. For a moment he lay there, trying to get a sense of his body again. When he felt strong enough to stand he sat up and pushed himself from the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. In the darkness he smashed his big toe into the doorjamb and cried out as the elongated nail splintered and ripped from the flesh. Limping the last few steps he positioned himself at the bathroom counter and readied himself for the yearly scare. Reaching one hand towards the wall he tentatively flicked on the switch.
Standing in the mirror was a haggard stranger; a man forty pounds heavier than Todd had been with unkempt hair atleast six inches longer than his usual crew cut. Running his fingers through the mop of hair he was appalled to see dozens of hairs fall from his scalp leaving a thinner pate than he’d previously had. A beard stood in place of the freshly shaven ‘baby face’ reaching nearly a foot towards his exposed, and somewhat rotund, belly. The rest of his body was soggier and thicker in places where it would matter to his tailor. The skin its self glowed the healthy pink of new tissue, and he realized with dismay that he’d have to go work on his tan again. Looking down to his bloodied toe he saw the broken remains of a toenail that would have been a solid inch long had he not recently broken it. The ones on his hands were even longer reaching nearly two inches from his round fingers.
For a long while he merely stood in the mirror, getting acquainted with his new self; counting the new wrinkles and re-learning the contours of his face. Today Todd was 27, and if he’d learned anything from previous years it was that he’d better get used to his new self; for sans some trimming he was stuck with what he saw for a full year.
Reaching for his new nail clippers a thought echoed through his head bitterly. Happy Birthday to me…
Ok, so this idea popped in my head when last I had a b-day and my boss says to me "So, a whole year older today, huh?". That got me thinking about this subject.
Since it's KMan's B-Day tomorrow, I felt inspired to write it up.
As always with works on these boards, critiques and comments are welcome; nay expected.
Thanks for reading.
Todd eyes lit up as the perfectly cooked slab of aged beef was laid before him. Somewhat distracting were the sides he’d ordered cluttering up the otherwise beautiful cut of meat before him. His attention was riveted to the steak as he picked up the fork and knife, and used them to cut the first taste from it. Like butter, he thought as the knife slid smoothly through the meat with little resistance. The first bite was in his mouth just as fast as he could mange and he chewed blissfully through the tender morsel. Seeing no reason to stop there he cut off another strip and another and another until he realized that he was halfway through the steak.
The world around him came back into focus as his latest girlfriend asked him a question from across the table. Sorting through his recent memory, he could not recall what she asked, but she was waiting for an answer.
“Uh, it’s good; how about yours?” He asked hoping that the answer matched whatever she sought.
“Well, the green beans are a little tough, and the salmon is dry; but the potatoes are good.” She replied, oblivious to his lapse in concentration. He wondered if he’d missed anything else, this one had a tendency to talk and he’d been developing a tendency to nod or give noncommittal noises without realizing it. A dangerous combination, he thought taking another bite.
Shortly thereafter the meal was finished and while nursing an after dinner cocktail their server came up with a perfectly toasted dish of crème brulee with a lit candle sticking out the top. Shooting a glance at the girlfriend her mischievous smile told him all he needed to know. “Happy Birthday sir; this one’s on the house,” the server said as she laid the dessert on the table before him. “Happy Birthday,” followed his girlfriend.
Scowling at the dessert before him Todd picked up a spoon and broke through the caramelized crust. Happy birthday indeed…They have no idea what tonight will bring, he thought bitterly. The custard was good, there was no doubt of that; but his girlfriend once more broke the silence with more words.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m still on my diet and shouldn’t have any of the dessert.” She said with a venomous edge to her words. He knew full well he hadn’t offered her any, nor would he; as he saw it her opinion didn’t really matter anyhow. After tonight you won’t care about me at all you dumb bitch, he thought swallowing another mouthful of the custard.
The silence between them dragged on for a few more minutes, the noise of other early diners and the steady clink of his spoon on the ceramic dish the only sounds at their cozy table. Having reached some sort of internal conclusion the woman started talking again, much to Todd’s dismay.
“I don’t know how you can eat all that crap all the time. We’ve dated for seven months now and your eating habits have gotten worse and worse; you never used to eat all that crap,” she complained.
Resigning himself to speak at last he finished the last spoonful of ‘crap’ and took a drink of ice water to cleanse his pallet. Clearing his throat he began, “Have you ever considered why I eat what I do? It’s because of all your nagging; you ever considered that?” Seeing her aghast with his brutal forwardness he plowed on. “Frankly you’re on my last damn nerve, and as of tonight we’re through,” he said as he started the litany of problems he’d called together in the last few days. By the time he was done she fled crying from the table and out of the restaurant. He sighed as people around him gave hurtful looks but then firmed his resolve and called the waitress for his check. It was unfortunate, but he always bought ‘birthday’ dinner for himself at this restaurant. Happy Birthday! he mocked to himself and signed the same to his credit card receipt. It didn’t matter; no one really looked at them anyhow.
Checking his watch he claimed his suit jacket from the coat girl he strode out into the downtown streets, squinting in the afternoon light. He walked for a while before coming to a familiar stop; the local Walgreens. Grabbing a basket he began to wonder the isles seeking the things he would need; a razor, some shaving cream, a new pair of scissors, nail clippers. He even found a set of sweat clothes incase he needed them. It might be silly to purchase these things once a year, but it seemed sillier to him to clutter up his bathroom with unnecessary supplies for a whole year.
Paying the cashier he made his way out of the store and retrieved his car from the restaurant’s valet. On the drive home he reflected on the mael and felt a moment’s guilt for pushing away yet another generally pleasant girlfriend. It’s better this way; they just don’t understand. he told himself for the hundredth time.
Pulling into his driveway Todd climbed the stairs to his condo and began unpacking his recently purchased supplies. He glanced at the clock on the wall and noted the time; 6:34 pm, he had some time yet. The pain was coming on slowly, building in his skull.
Stripping completely down he stood for a while in front of the full length mirror looking at his body. Taking full inventory of his physical attributes he made notes and guesses about what his future would hold. For some people every year brought changes; for Todd there was no truer statement to define his life.
At 6:48 pm the pressure in his head tightened farther and he backed away from the mirror and lowered himself onto the bed. Soon his whole body was awash with pain, pressure on every side; it felt as though he was being crushed. Lying on the bed the pressure became more intense as sweat began to run from every pore of his body.
Then the alarm on his watch went off, :beep::beep::beep: :beep::beep::beep: :beep::beep::beep: it was 6:53 pm. The pain began in earnest now as he writhed and waggled on the king sized bed. How long it lasted Todd did not know, but by the time it was done he fell asleep exhausted from the blinding pain.
He woke sometime in the night his body stinging from the recent changes it had undergone. He carefully brushed the long hair from his eyes taking care not to gouge himself with his newly grown fingernails. For a moment he lay there, trying to get a sense of his body again. When he felt strong enough to stand he sat up and pushed himself from the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. In the darkness he smashed his big toe into the doorjamb and cried out as the elongated nail splintered and ripped from the flesh. Limping the last few steps he positioned himself at the bathroom counter and readied himself for the yearly scare. Reaching one hand towards the wall he tentatively flicked on the switch.
Standing in the mirror was a haggard stranger; a man forty pounds heavier than Todd had been with unkempt hair atleast six inches longer than his usual crew cut. Running his fingers through the mop of hair he was appalled to see dozens of hairs fall from his scalp leaving a thinner pate than he’d previously had. A beard stood in place of the freshly shaven ‘baby face’ reaching nearly a foot towards his exposed, and somewhat rotund, belly. The rest of his body was soggier and thicker in places where it would matter to his tailor. The skin its self glowed the healthy pink of new tissue, and he realized with dismay that he’d have to go work on his tan again. Looking down to his bloodied toe he saw the broken remains of a toenail that would have been a solid inch long had he not recently broken it. The ones on his hands were even longer reaching nearly two inches from his round fingers.
For a long while he merely stood in the mirror, getting acquainted with his new self; counting the new wrinkles and re-learning the contours of his face. Today Todd was 27, and if he’d learned anything from previous years it was that he’d better get used to his new self; for sans some trimming he was stuck with what he saw for a full year.
Reaching for his new nail clippers a thought echoed through his head bitterly. Happy Birthday to me…
Ok, so this idea popped in my head when last I had a b-day and my boss says to me "So, a whole year older today, huh?". That got me thinking about this subject.
Since it's KMan's B-Day tomorrow, I felt inspired to write it up.
As always with works on these boards, critiques and comments are welcome; nay expected.
Thanks for reading.
