Musings of a Cleric

[TheZebraShakes™]

Man, how'd I get stuck being the party cleric?

This sure does suck right here.

They're always expecting me to be their little Heal Bitch. In fact, everytime I turn around, the stupid fighter is calling out, "Hey HB, come over here and heal me up."

If they'd only sit back and shut up, I can just spend my three rounds buffing up and then go in there and kick the encounter's ass single-handedly.

I mean come on, I have concentration through the roof, the best full plate ever invented, feats to devote to Improved Toughness and the tower shield proficiency. Not to mention any spell I could possibly want right up here in the old unabridged cleric's spellbook.

I'm a quadruple threat with no downside that I can't accomodate for.

But noooooo. For some reason, the rest of the group seems to think they're supposed to do stuff. Always crying and moaning about how they want to use their cool class features.

Yeah right.

What losers. All they do is run in, get hurt, and then run back out looking for me to heal them so they can do the same thing all over again.

Why do I even bother.

But that's not even the kicker.

While they're out spending all their phat lewt on beer and hoes, they expect me to spend all of my hard earned coins on more wands and scrolls to heal their sorry asses.

I have needs too you know.

The jerks won't even split the cost with me. They're the ones benefitting. I don't need any of this stuff, why should I be the one who has to buy it? I'm a friggin' cleric. God is on my side and most monsters can't even touch my superior AC anyway.

Yup, this sure does suck right here.

[Deekin]

It's worse when you play a healer. Granted, with the right build, you can heal 23 hp with a 0th level spell, and undead cower before you, lest you heal them into oblivion.

[TheZebraShakes™]

All cower before the almighty cleric.

We all loved that new option where we can opt to spontaneously cast our domain spells rather than healing spells.

Now I just have the Healing domain and walk around casting Heal all the time, then lay in with the Greatsword.

[Japic]

If you want to make it intersting Shakes; you need to do what BluSpecs has threatened to do in our homegames. Charge for healing. There it is. Make a cleric that is obsessed with gold and feels that his god's gift is too precious to be given away. The party will pay handsomely to maintain their healing services, or they'll not receive them at all. Gives you your buffing rounds and ability to get jiggy with it. If they wish to forestall your rounds, you'll be rewarded for it.

Food for thought.

[Toptomcat]

deekin said:

It's worse when you play a healer. Granted, with the right build, you can heal 23 hp with a 0th level spell, and undead cower before you, lest you heal them into oblivion.

Is that meant to be directed at a certain someone? ;D
Seriously, James was never meant to be as much of a monster as he turned out to be- just a man with a niche. I never expected extra-action telekinesis, or to get to 11th level, or the whole gestalt madness that came down the pipe. I expected him to be, well, a very competent healbot.